So, in celebration of all of the little happy birthday's we've had this winter, here are a few tasteless chicken jokes. Enjoy.
(I suspect a new chicken coup and building project is in my future. LOL)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Individual perspectives on the matter
I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything. (And don't believe anything that Mia says about me.)
To actualize its potential.
The Dead Sea Scrolls:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Urrrrrp. What chicken?
I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
It crossed twice. The dirty double-crosser.
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.
This Chicken is no more. It has ceased to function. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's a stiff. If it wasn't nailed to the road it'd be pushing up daisies. It's snuffed it. It's metabolic processes are now history. It's bleeding demised. It's rung down the curtain, shuffled off the mortal coil and joined the bleeding Choir Invisible. This is an Ex-Chicken. Ergo, it did not cross the road.
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Because it could not stop for death.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...
Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective):
I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
To die. In the rain.
Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road.
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
This isn't a chicken license! It's a dog license with the word "Dog" crossed out and "Chicken" written in in crayon.
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.
It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.
It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
Honk! Honk! Honk!
Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?
It was a government conspiracy.
'Cause it ***** wanted to. That's the ****** reason.
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
I missed one?
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
It vill be back.
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why he crossed, I've not been told!
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.
You tell me.
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
To avoid mad-chicken disease.