About Me

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North Lawrence, New York, United States
I can be described as lover of life, an animal lover, and lover of education. I am constantly striving for knowledge and learning opportunities. I've been around horses my entire life. I enjoy working with horses and their human partners through natural horsemanship philosophies, natural balance bare foot hoof care, reiki, red-light therapy, essential oils, aromatherapy, crystal healing, chromotherapy, flower essences, and more. I am a Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki Master Teacher who offers treatments for people, horses, dogs, cats, and other creatures great and small. I also teach Reiki classes for those interested in learning how to treat themselves, their loved ones, and even their animals! Natural Horse Lover Farm is located in Northern New York between the St. Lawrence River and Adirondack Mountains. Heaven on Earth. naturalhorseloverfarm.com

Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 1 Barn/Arena Project - They broke ground this morning, let the barn raising begin! :)





Well, today was the first day of excavation (we anticipate 1-2 weeks of work on this phase).   I was not home for the excitement but Rick thankfully was.  He managed the site and worked with Irvin and his crew.  They started with stripping the topsoil, stripped the size of the barns (although will expand the area much farther in the days to come), and put in the first phase of the parking lot that will be in front of the structure. We will be able to use much of the topsoil behind our house where we need to build up the land.  Lots of coordination and bartering going on thanks to Rick, lol. Apparently for the use of Irvin's Bobcat, he will get some of the topsoil for his place too and apparently Rick promised Irvin's wife some of my chickens (something I will deal with when the time comes--she'd provide a wonderful home and with the guinea hens (including all newly anticipated hatchlings) I have about 75 birds. Tomorrow, they will start digging the pond and using that soil for the foundation of the building, moving more trees, loads and loads of gravel, and I am certain much more  am unaware of. So far, so good! 

I on the other hand today, in amongst working all day (and we were very busy as it is finals week at the University), got to talk to the builder again and the town appraiser/building code enforcement officer.  Lots to do on the logistical end still including but not limited to making final decisions on siding, colors, etc.  I am the planner and director of this project and Rick is the ground supervisor, aka clerk of the works. FUN, FUN, FUN! Sometimes we feel confident and other times are worried to the point of not sleeping. As I wrote before, this is not for the faint at heart.

Below are some photos of the progress. It is a bit difficult to make sense of things at the moment but I thought I'd share anyway. (FYI - The mobile home in the photo is not ours, that is the neighbor's place.  Our home is in the woods and not viewable on this part of the property.)



















Saturday, April 28, 2012


Just a little update on my constant journey to better health. I am feeling much better than I look but that will come in time. As you know, I lost a lot in 2010, gained a bunch back in 2011, had several false starts this year but, I never gave up and never will.  My hope is that this time, I'll have the wisdom and skills to keep  the weight off and continue living healthy no matter what.  I am still struggling with the guilt and am still very disappointed with myself for regaining most (but not all) of the weight. Last Saturday I started back strong, worked out several times during the week, and made several wise meal choices. It was not perfect but I lost 2.2lbs. I have been sick all week so some exercise was modified or skipped (breathing being the issue, darned cold/flu bug).

I am not attending Weight Watchers meetings because I am simply unable to fit them in my schedule at the moment (but do recommend the program). Therefore, I am on my own which is not easy.  I am using the Body Media Fit Link device, Jillian Michael's website, and the knowledge and tools that I already have about food and exercise.  I even did the Beach Body Brazilian Butt Lift workout this morning and it was tough! I had to modify but this time, felt okay with it.  In the past, if I had to modify I gave up the workout. I recently bought the entire Brazilian set and was disappointed that the ankle weights didn't fit---OMG---I have work to do (or this set was designed for already fit, really small people, lol.) I have added Jillian's workout videos to my repertoire as well and am enjoying them more than I had in the past . I think that then, I wasn't willing or able to make a change in my workout routine but now, bring it on, I'll do anything!  I also continue to do Zumba at home (no classes fit in my schedule right now), Leslie Sansone videos, Gin Miller videos, other miscellaneous exercise DVDs, the gym during the work week, and of course outdoor activity (weather permitting). I really look forward to having the indoor arena because not only will I use it with the horses and get exercise in with them but, Morgan and I will also use it as a walk/run location when the weather is nasty. I am thinking of getting dog agility stuff to play with her, she did a little of that back in doggie school.

So the main keys to success and better health for me are exercise, wise choices, and planning. I have my week planned and am following it (my week starts on Saturday which is the day I weigh myself). I also took body measurements to track progress in another way.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

We pulled the trigger

The planning and coordination of building the barn has been really exciting, daunting, and the experience of a lifetime. Not only have I had to think about design but, I have had to take into account budget, location, contractors, schedules, taxes, insurance, use, resale, and more. (I am certain I am forgetting something.) This is complicated and the project of a lifetime. I have much more respect for those in career fields where construction coordination and planning is their work, wow, so much to consider.

In any event, we've pulled the trigger and ground breaking starts next week! Yes, you read that right, let the barn building commence! The site preparation should take no longer than two weeks and then the barn goes up taking approximately three weeks. I cannot believe it, this all seems so surreal.

We ended up using a local contractor for the excavation work, Irvin Martin who owns North Country Construction. Irvin has been doing work for us since we moved to North Lawrence four years ago, and frankly, I never shop for prices for this type of work, I just call him. He is fair and reliable, trustworthy, and an asset to our community. Also, fortunately for me, he is our neighbor and lives about a mile away. To give you a sense of our relationship, Rick will bake homemade goodies as a thank you and they share their bounty from their garden...and gave baked for us too. We do not get together or anything as we live different lifestyles, but are just all very nice and friendly to one another.

Regarding the building contractor, we have hired a friend and colleague of Irvin, named Melvin Bricker owner of Franklin Builders in Pennsylvania (a previous resident of the North Country). We got bids from four builders and his price, time spent on the design, and willingness to listen to our needs and work within the budget made the difference. Not to mention there were no hidden costs or games, just good information, communication, and a meeting of the minds. It was like having a Parelli conversation with your horse...very satisfying. In addition and very importantly, Irvin and another local business we use, Adirondack Structures, both highly recommended Melvin's work. We have seen his work on major, million-dollar dairy farm nearby and were impressed.

So, we are putting up a 36'x36'x10' horse barn with a center hay loft (access via an outside upper door on the front of the barn or from within the arena- an area that will be good for a video camera too), three stalls (yellow pine tongue and groove, bars and the fold-down bars on the door), and room for us to build a lounge/tack, shavings bin, and wash rack later on. This will be attached to a 60'x120'x16' riding arena with kicker walls, two large doors (one at the end and another on the side, another large slider (not as big as the others that attaches to the horse barn), sky-band, and skylights. The arena will have three large cupolas and the horse barn will have one smaller cupola. The buildings will be beige with dark green roof, wainscoting, and trim. the front doors have some glass on them for aesthetics. Rick and I will install lighting and plumbing as another phase of the project.

Initially, the horse barn will have a gravel floor akin to our current driveway (matching the additional driveway we will put in for the barn). We plan to put in a concrete pad as a future phase (not in the stalls). The arena will have the base, road fabric, and bluestone sub-base. I will top dress with a sand mixture (to be determined) later in the summer.

The location of this project is at one end of the playground, behind the neighbor's houses, giving us much-needed privacy. We are not anti-social but we have a regular stream of renters at one place and a real weirdo at the other residence.

I know that this is a great deal to absorb so do the best you can. Photos to come as we progress. By the way, because of the need for fill, the training/play pond I wanted and spoke about long ago is going to happen too! All is good in the Universe. :)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Where we call home, North Lawrence, NY


So many people wonder about where we live so I thought I'd post a little information.  We are not originally from here but four years ago, chose to make it our home and plan to live out our days here. We reside in a beautiful log home tucked back in the woods on 40 acres in Northern New York between the St. Lawrence River and Adirondack Mountains. Heaven on Earth. And, as you know, have been building our idea of the perfect farm.

We are in a location that to us is ideal.  We are about 20 miles from Canada and the St. Lawrence River and 7 miles from the beginning of the Adirondack Park. I work 20 miles away from home and although local shopping/restaurants are limited, mid-larger American cities like Plattsburgh, Watertown, and Syracuse and large Canadian cities like Montreal and Ottawa are all close enough for a nice day trip. We have the four seasons and as much as I complain about horse time, I truly cannot blame the weather for all of my issues, lol.

Lately we see many homes for sale, and the youth don't tend to stay in the area.  But nonetheless, we are happy and everyone loves to visit us for vacation!

North Lawrence is part of Lawrence in St. Lawrence County NY. It is a hamlet on NY-11C and County Road 55 near the north town line. It was first settled around 1827.  

NORTH LAWRENCE, NY Demographic Information *

Estimated Current Population:983
Census 2010 Population:1,223
Census 2010 White Pop.:1,208
Census 2010 Black Pop.:9
Census 2010 Hispanic Pop.:15
Census 2010 Asian Pop.:5
Census 2010 Hawaiian Pop.:0
Census 2010 Indian Pop.:10
Census 2010 Other Pop.:6
Census 2010 Male Pop.:631
Census 2010 Female Pop.:592
Census 2000 Avg House Value:$53,100.00
Census 2000 Avg Household Income:$31,815.00
2010 Avg Persons Per Household:2.77
Census 2010 Median Age:35.70
Census 2010 Median Age (Male):35.10
Census 2010 Median Age (Female):36.20


CLICK HERE to see some wonderful historical photos from 1855.


Below is historical information (Directly copied from - http://history.rays-place.com/ny/lawrence-ny.htm)  

North Lawrence.- The first actual settlement at the site of this village was made by John W. Bean, from Orange county, Vt., in 1827. The locality was then a thick forest standing in swampy land. He built the first frame house. Chauncey Bristol built a small shanty in 1826 and began the erection of a saw mill, which was carried away before it was finished. He rebuilt and finished the mill in 1831, and operated it for a number of years; it is not now in existence. Mr. Bristol died in the town in 1870, aged ninety-three years. Zebulon Moore, A. H. Barnes, John C. Williams and Simon Austin settled here about 1832. Mr. Barnes owned the land on which the village stands, and it was only a small mill settlement until the building of the railroad in 1850, after which it grew rapidly. Situated on both sides of the Deer River, manu- facturing became of some importance and there were five dams built across the stream within a mile. A gang saw mill with thirty saws was built in 1849 by T. P. Chandler; it was afterwards changed to a circular mill, passed through several hands and is now operated by M. D. Quenell. A pail and tub factory was established in 1862 with a capacity of 20,000 tubs and 10,000 pails a year. It was operated in 1876 by Garfield & McHollister, and is now conducted by Townsend & Burnham. The first grist mill was built by Amasa Townsend & Co. with three run of stones; it was burned in 1875 and rebuilt in the same year. It was afterwards operated by E. S. Crapser, and is now in the hands of I. A. Sergeant, who also carries on a starch factory which was established in 1892. A starch factory was built in 1877 by E. S. Crapser and operated a number of years; it was demolished about 1888. A stave factory and a tub factory were in operation from about 1860, but were discontinued about 1875. A store was kept below the village about 1847, and in the following year R. Barnard opened the first store in the village. Andrew Monirait opened a store soon afterward and continued to 1860. General stores are now conducted by Trussell & Connolly and H. E. Merrell. Drug stores are kept by John L. Brown and J D. Hakins; groceries by H. J. Dewey, J. Kallaher, M. Malakia, and E. T. Dustin. A. E. Chaffee has a clothing store and barber shop; W. C. Williams a tin shop, and I. A. Galusha a shoe shop. Edson Crawford opened the first hotel here in 1850, when he built a part of the Union House; there James Brownell acted as host for twenty-five years. The house is now kept by A. 0. Nichols, and the Commercial House by Stephen Dunn. The post-office was established in December, 1850, with John H. Conant postmaster; it was made a money order office in 1871. The present postmaster is C. H. Barnes. Miss S. Mix taught the first school here in 1834. In 1869 a commodious two story brick school house was erected.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Not for the faint at heart


Barn planning is not for the faint at heart. I am anxious, exhausted, and overwhelmed. I've been talking to many more builders of all types of barns/arenas. Fabric, wood, metal, and have even spoke to a container building firm. I am looking at all options but there are so many choices, so many hidden costs, and frankly, this is starting to feel like a full-time job.

I believe that pricing for construction in today's world is much more expensive than I ever realized. And so, my plans continue to morph. I know that I won't walk away with the executive show barn or anything but, I will walk away with a functional. nice-looking space where I can play and enjoy my horses. It is sometimes hard to make the shift from ultimate desires to reality but, I am coping. I should feel happier than I do, I mean I am building a dream but, somehow, my mind's gotten caught up in the ugly world of difficult financial choices, being an adult, and making compromises.

The level of detail needed to do a job like this is amazing. You have to contact the excavators, the building manufacturers, construction companies, the town, supply warehouses, the bank, and there re others! The list of questions seems endless and the answers are fascinating, and different depending on who you call.

So, onward and upward! I am digesting the information, gathering quotes, ideas, and other information into a massive spreadsheet, and a decision will be made. I am building an arena and barn this year, period. I may however, have to phase part of the project (like stalls and lounge set-up/finishing later in the fall or early spring but, that is doable, as long as I can get the overall structures in place.

More to come as I know it!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget

Well, I got the quote from Morton Buildings today and apparently I have champagne taste on a beer budget (story of my life). The quote was three times what I expected! I have to admit that I had read many posts on message boards purporting that Morton was expensive but this was rather ridiculous. They are going to rework the design but, I am not very confident that they will be able to meet my needs and stay within my budget. You know, it isn't like I was expecting 1980's pricing for goodness sake!

So, now for plan B, (which was my original, long ago plan anyway---back to the fabric structure idea). Rather than being closed minded, I am always willing to rethink plans (whether I want to or not). I decided to call my friend Beth who I told you about the other day. She owns Adirondack Structures and sells Britespan and Norseman structures. I spoke with her about my main concerns which include (for now) cover replacement cost should I need to after the warranty is up (after 16 years) and marketability should I need to sell. Much to my surprise, replacement covers are less than I expected and doable. Resale is at about 60-70% initial investment value and apparently, people actually are always looking to buy used buildings, take them down, and put up at their homes - who knew?! An additional benefit is the lack of property taxes because the building is movable and thus, temporary. And, I learned that they retain heat in the winter and that using salamander heaters, not only can I get the snow to melt and disappear but, should I choose to, I can easily take the chill out of the air and not freeze to death! She told me that there is an 80' x 209' in Lake Placid that when it was 10 degrees Fahrenheit below zero, people were walking around in t-shirts because they had a few salamander heaters running. Wow, now that is a draw!

So, I basically got a lesson in humility (again - hahaha) and severe dose of reality, particularly when it comes to construction (a lesson I can easily translate into my professional life). So, I've down-scaled my original design to ensure that I stay within my budget and am getting a quote from Beth in the next few days. I am having her send several quotes giving her free-reign to suggest ideas. I also drew up a plan that includes 65’ x 130’Indoor Riding Arena with attached 36’ x 48’ Horse Barn (see below--you may need to click on the image and use the zoom feature in your browser). The design did not call for a loft but, we may do that anyway to save space, nothing I have to decide at the moment. Here is the design I sent her this evening. A little smaller than the Morton Structure but, I believe it is still quite adequate for my needs. (I got a fast quote on the structure size I sent to Morton and she was far less but, I still see a need to down-size.) The lesson learned here is to be flexible, open-minded, and have a back-up plan. :) More to come!


Saturday, April 14, 2012

My dog made me do it!

So last night, when we went up to the barn to feed horses and lock up the chickens and guinea hens, Morgan, my great Dane told me that we needed to start running and walking together like we used to. :) So, this morning, we restarted the C25K (Couch to 5k) program. About two years ago we did this and were able to run it by the end without any trouble.

This morning, that workout KICKED MY BUTT---YIPPIE!!! It was fun, really hard, and a humbling reminder just how out of shape I am. I feel ready to get back to my thinner me! I know, you've heard this before but, for me, this is apparently a life-long journey. Endorphins are amazing...and so is my partner, Morgan. We ended up doing our 30 min walk/run circuit and walked an additional 20 minutes. There were several times I thought I'd die, that I thought I'd never get through the running intervals but, we did it! Running on pavement up and down hills....or walking for that matter....creates must more friction and intensity in comparison to a treadmill and is much harder. When the workout got really difficult (I was struggling to breath, was coughing, sweating, the whole nine yards), I visualized my horses and remembered how much they will appreciate me getting healthy, again. I also remembered that life is too short and as I see people my age unable to move or be active, I realize that if I don't start moving it again, I'm going to lose it and for me, that is not an option.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Getting Closer to Reality


I've dreamed of a proper horse barn with indoor riding arena since I was a child. Part of the dream, I am certain, is because of all of the experiences I had at nice equestrian facilities starting with adventures with my aunt, moving on to teenage farm jobs, and then of course, experiences as an adult. I've spent many hours reading books, magazine articles, looking at brochures, websites, and talking to people. I have seen many features I liked, some I didn't, and many I never thought of. One could argue that I've had a lifetime of research on the project of a lifetime.

In the last few weeks, my goal has made a dramatic move from dream-state to a reality that is actually able to become a reality. I've finally made it to the point of arena/horse barn planning with a barn dealer (Morton Buildings) and am getting closer and closer to having a plan of action including a timeline. I am working on the budget (not an easy feat, there are so many factors and expenses to consider) and hope to break ground this year.

I should note that I purchased a small horse barn plan from Apple Valley Barn Plans which although nice, don't answer the needs of this plan because things have changed. Should you need barn plans, they have very nice ones available in a variety of configurations. I tried to obtain information from two metal building companies, Olympia Steel Buildings and U.S. Buildings but both companies were extremely non-responsive to any true coordination of starting the conversation let alone follow-up. Apparently they have enough customers! I also had preliminary plans provided in the past, by two fabric structure companies, Adirondack Structures (formerly a Cover-all dealer, now selling Britespan and Norseman Structures) and Farm Tek. Farm Tek covers the entire country. I was concerned about their barns because they do not seem to provide engineered plans. Should you desire to invest in a fabric structure and are in my region, please contact the owner/operator of Adirondack Structures, Beth Donnelly. Beth from Adirondack is a friend and I know that she will give you awesome service and her products are superior to other fabric building dealers.

Fabric structures are very nice, don't get me wrong, just not the direction I am going in at this time. I have researched and discussed the point with Rick at great lengths and it is our opinion that a standard, framed structure-type building, will last longer is easier to repair (on our own). We also believe that the Morton Building is more marketable to a wider audience should the time come (hopefully never) that we need to sell our property and move on.

We are patiently awaiting our first draft of plans. What we are looking at is an overall 71' x 17' x 196' building (beige building with dark green trim, wainscoting, doors, and roof). The structure will have sky-lights and sky-belt to bring in as much natural light as possible. Three fully functional cupolas with horse weather vanes for an aesthetic appeal. We will be installing a condensation board in the roof for the entire structure.

The arena will be 72' x 17' x 160'. I plan to use sand for footing as it is readily available here and affordable. We plan to install a sprinkler system to help with the watering of arena. In addition to the lovely light the sky-lights and belt will offer, we will be installing adequate lighting to make it a bright and open-feeling atmosphere. I have planned for large sliding doors on either end of the arena as well as the corresponding location in the horse barn area. There will be a hay loft with railing accessible from the arena side or from a staircase in the horse barn portion of the structure. And, an arena liner is also being installed - or should I call it a knee saver? :)

The horse area of the barn is a 36' x 72' area. In addition to the sliding doors I wrote about above, I plan to have two large doors on either end of the aisle as well as a standard door, all for access as well as ventilation of course. I am planning for four, 12' x 12' stalls with rubber mats, wood/aluminum stall walls/door with drop panel, and swing-out feeders. I also am planing for a lined wash rack, tack/feed room with tack rack, shavings bin, and a lounge with viewing window to the arena. It will act as a library, exercise room, rest area, and have a mini-kitchen and very basic bathroom. These additional areas and their sizes are all being refined. I hope to add some lovely, pretty touches to the horse area, all to be determined and perhaps, done over time.

Planning a project like this takes a great deal of time, detail, and patience. I have to coordinate different people to talk with one another and collaborate, the clearing and preparation of the land, the barn specs and schedule, electricity installation, well drilling, and plumbing. We have to move one of the horse fences, figure out where the horses will be during the project, and of course, coordinate the funding. Rick will be able to do some of the work too!

So, this is all a good start I think. I cannot wait to see the actual plans from the builder. I may find the necessity to change some of my plans but, I believe in dreaming big to start with, you just never know what you can achieve unless you try. Is this reality? If it's not, I know it is close to it!

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." ~Edgar Allan Poe

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Here chick, chick, chick, chick...


Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg, silly, they come from the Post Office. So, lame, but that is my silly attempt at humor (having paid $65 for two dozen hatching eggs earlier this winter).

We've successfully hatched about 40 chickens. Most of the successful ones were from my stock, not from those expensive, shipped-in eggs, their hatching rate was about 30%, mine, 100%. I have another incubator full of our own guinea hen eggs and chicken eggs all due to hatch in about a month. I think we are addicted, it is a very fun project! I have the world's best husband. Today, not only did he take care of everything at the farm but, he baked homemade cornbread for my one little duckling that hatched (with my help) who had a very rough start...and she loves her cornbread mush....what a guy. :) Had I not helped this little cutie hatch (which is not recommended unless it is critical) she'd have died.

So, in celebration of all of the little happy birthday's we've had this winter, here are a few tasteless chicken jokes. Enjoy.

(I suspect a new chicken coup and building project is in my future. LOL)

FROM: http://www.weirdity.com/jokes/chicken.shtml

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Individual perspectives on the matter

Woody Allen:
I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything. (And don't believe anything that Mia says about me.)

Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.

The Dead Sea Scrolls:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Roseanne:
Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Jack Benny:
I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

James Cagney:
It crossed twice. The dirty double-crosser.

Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

John Cleese:
This Chicken is no more. It has ceased to function. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's a stiff. If it wasn't nailed to the road it'd be pushing up daisies. It's snuffed it. It's metabolic processes are now history. It's bleeding demised. It's rung down the curtain, shuffled off the mortal coil and joined the bleeding Choir Invisible. This is an Ex-Chicken. Ergo, it did not cross the road.

Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads

James Dean:
To prove he wasn't chicken.

Emily Dickenson:
Because it could not stop for death.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

M.C.Escher:
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates:
To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...

Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective):
I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom.

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Sherlock Holmes:
Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road.

Saddam Hussein:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Terry Jones:
This isn't a chicken license! It's a dog license with the word "Dog" crossed out and "Chicken" written in in crayon.

Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.

Immanuel Kant:
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

John Locke:
Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Karl Marx:
It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.

Chico Marx:
It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.

Groucho Marx:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Harpo Marx:
Honk! Honk! Honk!

Jackie Mason:
Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?

Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.

Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it ***** wanted to. That's the ****** reason.

Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

Plato:
For the greater good.

Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Arnold Schwartznegger:
It vill be back.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why he crossed, I've not been told!

O.J.Simpson:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

B.F. Skinner:
Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

The Sphinx:
You tell me.

Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Mae West:
I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

Oprah Winfrey:
To avoid mad-chicken disease.