Lola and I worked it all out, it ended well but, I had to dismount almost immediately because she was very ugly towards me when I simply asked her to back up...she rang her neck, tried to bite me, and even offered to bolt and buck should I not get off on my own. I took it as an opportunity to reconnect and get back to basics. How rude it was of me to ask for anything when all I'd been doing is mostly just cleaning and feeding her without really spending any quality time. We played in the playground, round pen, in the yard, driveway, and even with the trailer. Getting back to basics for us meant reestablishing herd hierarchy, playing the games and patterns, and learning to listen to one another. Overall, a good session but one that was fraught with a lot of emotion...a good thing as it tested both of us and our relationship which is still on good terms, luckily. I didn't try to ride again by the way, I didn't have a desire and saw no point in it.
I need to get my life back on track and my mind back in the horse game, back in the healthier living game, and so much more. I am in a true and horrible funk...I owe you all like 6 weekly tasks! But, I think for now, I'll have to stop the weekly task thing because I am not active enough in the horse game at the moment to even be thinking about it. So, I'll post things as them come but not on any kind of schedule anymore, I need to take the pressure (and guilt) off for now, I hope you understand. I need to bet back to the basics in my life, planning, eating right, playing with horses, exercising, and spending time with Rick. (Oh, and working of course, lol.)
My plan...? I am menu planning some easy, light meals and also planning for horse time and physical activity--a fresh start. I've registered for Bangin' Bodies, Zumba I, and Zumba II at the University starting the week of Sept 19th. I am starting back at the gym on Monday come hell or high water! And, starting back on Sat I'll be back at Weight Watchers meetings and Zumba afterwards. I am also pledging 30 minutes a day with the horses doing something other than cleaning or feeding. It does not sound like much but it is a start and fairly realistic. I have to do something...I feel just horrible lately. I am physically and emotionally drained and need a new start, a complete overhaul, an attitude adjustment. Rick reminded me of how great I felt when I was exercising, playing with the horses, and eating right (I think he feels cruddy too frankly). So, I am going back at it full force because for me, complete immersion is the only thing that works, I cannot just dabble in anything, I have to be totally focused and almost obsessed. (This may mean a few extra visits to the chiropractor but I don't care, I love my adjustments and my doctor!)
So that is the story, it is not a pretty one but an honest one. Take care everyone, keep in touch, and do come back to the blog, I plan to post more often again! Sigh.
P.S. I am working on a plan for a vacation or at the least, a weekend excursion with Rick and no one else. I love my family but enough is enough...I need my personal life back...sorry to offend but it is reality. I love my private life, my home with husband and critters off in the woods, in our own little world.