About Me

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North Lawrence, New York, United States
I can be described as lover of life, an animal lover, and lover of education. I am constantly striving for knowledge and learning opportunities. I've been around horses my entire life. I enjoy working with horses and their human partners through natural horsemanship philosophies, natural balance bare foot hoof care, reiki, red-light therapy, essential oils, aromatherapy, crystal healing, chromotherapy, flower essences, and more. I am a Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki Master Teacher who offers treatments for people, horses, dogs, cats, and other creatures great and small. I also teach Reiki classes for those interested in learning how to treat themselves, their loved ones, and even their animals! Natural Horse Lover Farm is located in Northern New York between the St. Lawrence River and Adirondack Mountains. Heaven on Earth. naturalhorseloverfarm.com

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wanted: Mutual Respect for Horses and Humans

It has been a horribly stressful, headache-inducing day. So far, I am on track (regarding my journey to better health) minus exercise. I am not sure my heart is in it for exercise today (or much else frankly, including horse time). I suppose I could do my pilates video for the horseback rider (Janice Dulak)...sigh. And, as far as horse time, I did say hello and feed them (and the chicks). I am mentally and physically exhausted, wiped out. When I got home, I was so exhausted I wanted to cry or vomit, not sure which, totally beat down, feeling like giving up on the world and perhaps myself. I really didn't even want to go outside or see Rick (no offense to him of course). Oh my goodness, this all sounds so horrible when written (hearing my feelings in my head when I write--erhaps a good way to work it all out though). For most of the afternoon, all I wanted to do was to do is go home, crawl into bed, and hide under the covers (with the dogs of course) and never come out. Not that this would solve anything but, escape was on my mind. I even toyed with thoughts of living off the grid, in seclusion, and escaping from society, responsibility, and thus, no more stress. This is not the norm for me of course (if you couldn't guess from all of my other posts over the years--I am a perfectionist, over achiever--most of the time) so, the situation was truly serious (to me anyway). I hate feeling attacked, I hate feeling out of control, and I hate feeling like what I say and do
does not matter. UGH.

The reason why I am writing is that today, I was reminded about how important mutual respect was. Not only receiving it but making sure that I always give it to others. I believe I do but, being on the receiving end of reactions, responses, interactions that lacked this respect towards me or any caring about the work I do, my professional experience, etc., was truly disturbing to me. I felt like....well, you get the picture without the gory (and probably boring) details. In hindsight, perhaps I took some things more personally than I should have but, I truly believed, in my heart of hearts, that the work I presented was done with care, diligence, and was what was asked of me. I do not go into anything lightly and always put in 100%. In hindsight, perhaps those who made me feel this way have no idea and therefore, I must forgive the situation and will work harder to breathe and will plan future interactions and responses. (A colleague who witnessed this did reach out in a kind way to me, showing understanding, concern, and helped me see from a different lens.) In the future, I won't let a situation like this get to me but instead, try to remember to think the phrase (thanks to Linda Parelli)..."how interesting." Somehow that phrase helps me breathe but I typically only use it in horse situations.

A regard for the dignity of person isn't much to ask, is it? Good relationships are built on mutual respect. This brings me to horses (I am sure you are thinking, finally, she's going to talk horses). Our relationships, including those with our horses, are truly important and good ones are based on mutual respect. Your horse should respect you and you should respect your horse in all situations...this is why those practicing PNH ask for permission to enter a stall (or other living quarter), ask for permission to mount and dismount, and so much more. We pay attention to responses and reactions, and we always try to improve.

Based on Lisa's comment in another post (she's one of my regular readers--thanks Lisa), I realized that I was not completely respecting Lola (despite my sincerest intentions). I never truly and seriously took into account the fact that she is a mare and will have hormone and physical issues that may interfere with our relationship that my geldings simply do not experience. I mean, I know she is a mare and has cycles but, I never truly gave her the benefit of the doubt because of it. To be proactive and bring my responsibility of respect up to par, I contacted my veterinarian today to get more information and thus gain knowledge on Lola's physiology to allow me to better understand her and react appropriately when she and I are having difficulties.

Tonight, take a moment to reflect on your relationships, what ever and with whom ever they may be, it is truly important. It is just another piece of never ending self-improvement. S-A-V-V-Y!


Lisa said...

I am so sorry you had the rottenest of rotten days. I sincerely hope my comments did not contribute. If my tone was anything other than friendly, I am sorry.

Thank God the sun keeps shining and each day is new, with no mistakes in it.

Michelle AKA arabhorselover1 said...

Thank you so very much, Lisa. It means a lot. You are always kind, informative, and I consider you a friend. You in no way contributed to my misery. If anything. you helped me focus on something I love (horses) instead of giving all of my attention to my right-brain emotional response to other people and their actions. I thank you.

Yours ever,