I've reached a place in my WW journey where I am falling back into old bad habits that include the mass consumption of sugar, fat, and salt, not getting in all of my workouts (I actually love to workout all of the time), and feeling kind of overwhelmed and unable to focus. I suspect part of this is emotionally motivated from stress related to the winter weather (and no horse play time--very depressing and no walking or running with my dogs), a heavy work load at the University, and an off-kilter schedule with my husband (I miss him as he is snow plowing almost all of the time on 12 hours shifts). I am feeling pure desperation, feel yucky from eating junk, feeling terribly guilty, feeling like a failure, and really need a clean start. This journey is an integral part of my horsemanship and I cannot give up. I am worth it and so are my horses and my horsemanship!
I've decided to stay on WW (of course) but, to get a clean start, I am going to go through a 28 day cleanse/detox program as well. It is a way for me to "kick" the bad food habits and get back to feeling good again. Just like with our horses, people are what they eat and what is consumed directly effects performance.
A Facebook friend of mine, Heike King is an Arbonne Consultant and she is going to get me hooked up on the Cambiati 28 Day Detox/Cleanse program with both Cambiati and Arbonne products. Some of the key concepts with the program are:
--Identify how nutrition affects your physical, mental and emotional health;
--Use food as fuel;
--Identify food allergies and intolerances;
--Identify and correct imbalances that contribute to a lack of energy, inability to lose weight, and missing competitive edge;
--Identify and eliminate compulsive eating habits; and
--Create a path for wellness for the rest of your life.
These are concepts that I am always thinking about and they should fit well with the WW lifestyle . A detox/cleansing restart may be just what I need. The other benefit is that they tell me what to do for the next month (there is a class which I like too--education is really important to me), no thinking needed on my part (lol), just follow the plan (as far as I know--I am still getting info). (BTW--Other online WW folks I know did it and referred me to her back in July 2010 (I was not ready to try it them) and continue to use these products in their daily regimen with not only weight loss success but, they feel overall really well balanced and healthy.)
I was in denial for years about gaining weight and now, regretting not getting at it when I gained just 5 pounds...geeze could I have waited any longer!? Now, I am working on losing 132.6 lbs...can you imagine? UGH, disgusting really, simply horrific (but when I get there, the horses will be pleased and so will I for so many reasons).
I was never the fat kid but, college, marriage, lack of knowledge, and complacency got the best of me. I don't think that I ever realized I would/could get fat and as it happened, I kept thinking it would just go away or something. It truly snuck up on me. Now at age 39, my plan is to get to goal by my 40th (this Dec 4th) and stay there. I want to live a long, athletic and healthy life with Rick and the critters and I have to lose weight to do so. (OMG I am heading to age 40--frightening, I feel like I am 18 most of the time--especially when I am riding around bareback on Fosse, Whiskey, or Lola, acting like a fool!--thanks Parelli for the ability to do so!)
Sometimes, I just want a magical do-over and be my younger healthier, thinner self. It is tiring to constantly have to think about this stuff. I try to bargain for it stating to the Universe that if given another chance, I'd be diligent and careful and not allow myself to get where I am now. However, reality is that kind of magic does not exist and as Pat Parelli says, "Take the time it takes and it takes less time." What I take from this quote in this context is that I have to just get back at it, do what it takes, and I'll get there!
So there you have it, that is my update!