About Me

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North Lawrence, New York, United States
I can be described as lover of life, an animal lover, and lover of education. I am constantly striving for knowledge and learning opportunities. I've been around horses my entire life. I enjoy working with horses and their human partners through natural horsemanship philosophies, natural balance bare foot hoof care, reiki, red-light therapy, essential oils, aromatherapy, crystal healing, chromotherapy, flower essences, and more. I am a Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki Master Teacher who offers treatments for people, horses, dogs, cats, and other creatures great and small. I also teach Reiki classes for those interested in learning how to treat themselves, their loved ones, and even their animals! Natural Horse Lover Farm is located in Northern New York between the St. Lawrence River and Adirondack Mountains. Heaven on Earth. naturalhorseloverfarm.com

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Homework Assignment

Since last Saturday's blog post, I've been working on my homework assignment, "play approach and retreat with being perfect, being particular not critical." I can tell you (and mentioned a few days ago), that I did find myself feeling a bit concerned if I knew how to complete my task, if I really understood it, and so forth. I can also say that I've thought deeply about the idea of perfectionism. I have come to the conclusion that I am not crazy or damaged but am a perfectionist. As such, I have to better understand how to use this to my benefit. I also have come to grips with the idea that I unconsciously (but now with awareness) equate love with perfection and success. What I didn't realize until now is that success does not equal perfection. That you have to find success in everything you do, and that you must remember that everything is not always under your control, that there are outside factors always pressuring the situation, and thus, 100% perfection is probably unrealistic (but 99.99%, now that is attainable! LOL) I also know that love is given usually not because of perfection but because one is trying so darned hard to succeed.

In any event, this exercise in self-reflection has actually helped me focus that much more on my goals, trying even when I thought I might fail, and planning for more! (I ran 20 minutes while doing my C25K training yesterday---I never thought I could do that, in fact, when I started running back in May, I could barely run for one minute). My race is July 8th and rather than not going because I may not be able to run the entire thing, I am going, plan to run for as long as I can, and will walk the rest, to the finish line. The same goes for my horsemanship. I am going to continue to make progress but have fun with it, I'll continue to assess and will tape the videos even if I am not at my goal weight. I am riding more than ever (when it is not raining) and finding that our ground activities are becoing more and more dynamic. And, my weight loss journey continues, I am dedicated to the lifestyle in perpetuity because my health is the fabric of my entire life and affects it all! I am working on being proud of my accomplishments thus far and not dwelling on the fact hat I have to go down this road in the first place.

A man who I went to high school with (I only knew him as a boy), recently killed himself with a fire arm. I found myself thinking very hard about what made him feel that his life was so bad that he needed to end it all. He was young and had two successful children. It made me realize how short life is, how valuable our relationships are, but more importantly for the purpose of this post, it made me remember that I need to love myself before I can love others and that if it means giving myself some latitude (while still striving to be on the top), so be it.

In closing, love yourself, hug your loved ones, hug your pets, hug your horses, and revel in all the good things in life (our time is short-don't waste it). Good things come with hard work and determination, they come with planning, by being particular, and with extreme perseverance. Being overly critical (which differs from being particular) is a form of self-sabbotage and will get you nothing but stress, feelings of defeat, and failure.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” - Thomas Merton


Lisa said...

A book you might enjoy - The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Based on Native American philosophy/wisdom, it's an amazing book that works at the "voices" in our head. I think you would find it very interesting.

Michelle AKA arabhorselover1 said...

Thanks, Lisa! -M